Coaches Talk Too: How Relationships and Respect Can Make or Break Your Athlete’s Future
Let’s be honest — we don’t always talk about this part, but we should.
When your child is navigating the world of college recruiting or NIL deals, it’s easy to focus on stats, scholarships, and offers. But here’s the quiet part people don’t say out loud: coaches have egos. Not in a bad way, but in a “this is my program, and I take pride in it” kind of way. They’ve built reputations, cultures, and systems — and they pay attention to how your athlete (and you) respect that.
👀 Coaches Talk. A Lot.
Photo via Rockytopinsider.com
One recent situation that made waves in college football was the abrupt split between Tennessee and their quarterback, Nico Iamaleava. Without going too deep, here’s the quick version: reports came out that his name was being shopped around for better NIL deals without the coaching staff’s knowledge. That move rubbed a lot of people the wrong way — not just because of the money, but because of how it was handled.
Here’s the part most people missed: another coach, from a completely different program, tipped off Tennessee’s staff. Why? Because that coach had also lost players the same way and felt it was worth bringing to light. Now think about that for a second. These are grown men with years of history between them. They remember how players, parents, and even agents handle themselves — and they talk. They pick up the phone. They give each other a heads-up.
So what does that mean for you and your athlete?
💡 The Way You Move Matters
If your child is getting recruited by 10 different programs, it’s not just about choosing “the one.” It’s about how you show up with all 10. From the head coach down to the assistant who edits film or schedules visits — treat everyone with respect and consistency. Because here’s the thing: coaches don’t always stay where they are. That assistant who sent your kid a DM today? He might be the recruiting coordinator at a Power 5 program next year. And he’ll remember how y’all made him feel.
When you enter the portal or start NIL negotiations, those memories resurface. A kid who was kind, respectful, and communicative is going to have a lot more people going to bat for them when things shift.
🙋🏽♂️ Your Representation Represents YOU
Whether it’s a family member helping out or a paid NIL rep, whoever speaks on your athlete’s behalf becomes a reflection of your whole household. College coaches have shared stories about reps showing up on Zoom with PowerPoint decks, pitching players like they're free agents — often without the school even knowing the athlete was thinking of leaving.
Kirby Smart recently spoke about this exact issue — saying these types of interactions are becoming more common and more uncomfortable. That’s a problem. Not because NIL is bad — but because how you handle it shows a coach if you can be trusted, coachable, and team-first.
🧭 Action Steps for Parents:
Talk With Your Athlete About Reputation. Not just on the field — off it. How they interact with coaches, how they follow up, and how they leave a program matters.
Practice Respectful Communication. Whether you're declining an offer, asking a question, or thinking of transferring — teach your athlete to be clear, polite, and honest.
Choose Reps Wisely. If you're bringing in outside help, make sure they're aligned with your values. They shouldn’t burn bridges just to chase bigger deals.
Stay Grateful, Stay Humble. The recruiting process can feel like a whirlwind, but coaches and staff are people, too. Gratitude goes a long way.
