How to Tell When a Coach Is Just Being Polite

The Courtesy Call That Feels Like a Promise

Coaches talk to dozens of athletes every week. They’re trained to keep conversations positive, even when your athlete isn’t at the top of their list. You’ll hear things like, “We’ll be following your season,” or “We love your energy keep us updated.”

It sounds promising, but until a coach starts asking for specifics like transcripts, game schedules, or film links it’s just a conversation.

This is where families often misread politeness as progress. The coach is simply keeping the line open. Your athlete, meanwhile, starts getting emotionally invested in a school that may not have a real spot for them.

That’s why in The College Offer Decoder, we teach families to separate genuine evaluation from friendly communication. When you understand the stages of recruiting interest, evaluation, verbal offer, committable offer you stop guessing and start reading the signs for what they are.

How to Read Between the Lines

A coach who’s serious about your athlete will sound specific and consistent.
They’ll reference things they’ve seen “I watched your game against Central,” or “Your rebounding numbers caught my eye.” They’ll follow up quickly and request updates.

If the messages are vague, repetitive, or months apart, it’s polite conversation, not active recruiting. That doesn’t mean you write them off it just means your athlete needs to earn their way back into the conversation.

Encourage them to send new film, share stats, and stay respectful. But manage expectations interest is not the same as opportunity.

Do This Today

Sit with your athlete and review their recent messages from coaches.
Ask, “What did they actually say?” and “Did they ask for anything next?”

If the answers are unclear, it’s time to get organized. Use The College Offer Decoder to map where each coach stands and decide who’s genuinely recruiting and who’s just keeping in touch.

Because knowing the difference can save your family months of waiting and maybe even a few heartbreaks.